Dinner with Wilco

Guy on cell phone: Yeah, so I'm having dinner tonight with the drummer from Wilco. ...
Oh, you never heard of them? They're a band. They're kind of popular. Yeah. You would like them. Go to iTunes and download them.

-- Sitwell's on Ludlow, Clifton

And if you did, you'd know better.

Hobo: Hey, what's the date today? Do you know the date today?
Dude: It's April 28th.
Hobo: I thought so! Man, tomorrow is my brother's birthday!
Dude: Ok. Tell him 'Happy Birthday'!
Hobo: Fuck you, man, you don't know my brother.

-- Outside Coco's on Greenup St, Covington

Nepotism at its finest

Cashier 1: That girl said that Ray should get over himself!
Cashier 2: "Cranky" best be glad he has a JOB.
Cashier 1: Yeah... hey, why don't you get your other son to get a job down here, too?

-- BP, 5th and Philadelphia, Covington

Mom of the Year: Teaching Self-Reliance

Mom: Oh no, he didn't! Lookit this! He hid all kinds of snacks in here! Did you put these snacks in here?
Guy: What's in there?
Kid: They're just Rice Krispie Treats.
Mom: You want snacks? You can MAKE your own Rice Krispie Treats! GodDAMN!

-- Save-A-Lot grocery store, St Bernard

overheard by MaryMary

She's dating Mr. Sensitive

Guy on cell: No, dude, she was in a head-on collision and totalled the car. She hit another vehicle. Naw, she's fine, she's picking up my lunch right now.

-- Target in Norwood

Naughty bean!

Woman: I couldn't eat Chinese food for like 6 months after I got food poisoning. And I still can't eat Szechuan! The thing is, I'm vegetarian, so I don't get it. Did I get like a bad bean or something?

-- Continental Lounge, Covington

Hey! They're MY weak spot, too!

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She slept at Home Depot?

Cashier 1: Hang on! I'm busy over here making sandwiches, and she can't walk because she stepped on a nail!
Cashier 2: I got out of bed and it was like - OW!
Customer: What you got nails on your bedroom floor for??
Cashier 2: It wasn't my floor.

-- UDF, Mt Lookout